Saturday, December 3, 2016

My definition of happiness

Assalam..

Heyyaa!
Setahun lebih tak tulissss... masyaAllahhh... busy sangat jadi Puan eh?
:)


tak, sebenarnya lupa password, -.-' so xpernah nak cuba untuk masuk balik.. tup2 arini free sangat, tu yang ter'enter' satu entry tu..

free sebab cik abang gi outstation program..  and won't be seen untill monday I think because keje malam ahad tu.. Dy pulak balik mungkin sampai malam ahad.. So i probably xdapat nak jumpe dya tiga hari..


Tiga hari???

fuh.. paling lama xjumpe setelah setahun hidup bersama.. >.<
Dulu kalau tak berjumpe seminggu dua rileks je lagi.. Sebab duduk asing2..
Tapi sekarang kalau hilang depan mata, susah betul nak hidup.

ohh..

What is my happiness of my life??

I becoming too dependent on him.. That's why occassionally bila berpisah sebab program atau aku oncall, memang thats the time I ponder back my definition of happiness. Sebab sometimes, being too attach to someone will makes us weak.

Really..
Like what happened today since he left me..
tidur tak lena,
mandi tak basah..

ok, cukup2..
Enough.. haha.. nak termuntah dengar nanti.

sometimes I have to reset my definition of happiness.
Happiness is not only because he's around, but when he went for something that Allah pleased.
Happiness is when I had to go for work- my so-called place of battle and he had to go for another battle of jihad,
Everyone had their on battle in life.
And I have mine too.

Setiap dari kita berkorban. Berkorban untuk sesuatu yang kita sayang.
Tapi sedar atau tidak, benda yang kita korbankan itu bukan milik kita sebenarnya.
Jadi, why sacrifices make us sad?

He's not mine. I'm neither.
Tapi kehidupan itu kadang-kadang menipu kita. Kita sangka kita milik dia selamanya, tapi mana tahu badai yang akan menjelma?
He' not mine. But I pray to Allah, he will be mine forever. Here and thereafter.

Since he's not mine, I allowed him to reach anything that he pleasures.
I dont wanna be his burden.
I just dont wanna be his protector.
He just a free man.
He deserve everything he want.

Too many things make me ponder.
When I too rely my happiness is with him. Everything about him is my happiness.
But thats make me sick.
Sakit sebab rindukan dia.
And that makes me sadder.

That's why I have to define back my source of happiness..

so
my happiness is when he had to go for the sake of Allah
my happiness is when he had to go for something good for him
my happiness is when he is happy doing things he wants
when he wants to be a great man, i will always stand besides him.

:)
that's my happiness



2 comments:

Fatin Days said...

Betul tu. Kadang2 mmg kte terlupa. Reminder utk diri sy jugak.. :)

http://www.fatindays.com

Kella MN said...

Hi, fatin!.yup2, true indeed!